We all know that when we are trying to change a habit that we have had for a long time it can feel like hard work and we often revert back to our old ways rather than persist with the perceived pain of making the change. A parent’s life is very busy and you are time poor so doing things on automatic pilot becomes the norm.
At the end of our workshops, I often invite people to clasp their hands together and notice which thumb fits comfortably on top, and then I ask them to change the thumb only so that the other one is now sitting on top. I then ask them to let me know how this new position feels. The usual comments that I get are “uncomfortable”, “weird”, “strange” or ‘horrible”! I then invite participants to revert their thumb back to the normal position to which people breathe a sigh of relief because that feels much better!
It is interesting to recognize how much we like to do things that are comfortable and easy (I think it’s fair to say that it is human nature) and how much we resist change. What I ask participants to do next is to interchange their hands between the ‘right thumb on top’ and the ‘wrong thumb on top’ and to do this several times quite quickly. I hope that you are giving this a go as you are reading this because what becomes apparent as this change takes place is that the feeling of being uncomfortable dissipates quite quickly.
Of course, what this means is that we quite quickly become used to the new way of doing things and we then have the ability to do more things naturally and comfortably. So what does this mean in relation to asking more questions? It means that at the outset you may find it challenging, difficult, and uncomfortable and so it is easy at this point to give up believing that it is ‘too hard. What we forget is that in a short while that feeling will go and we emerge a better version of our formal selves mainly for the very reason that we were persistent and prepared to live with a bit of discomfort.
A lady recently wrote to me and shared that she was aware of how easy it would be to give up her new practice and revert to her old habits of being more of a ‘teller’ but she came up with a simple and effective way to manage this short term situation. She put a ring on one of her fingers that was a prominent reminder to not only continue with the new practice of asking but also to be prepared to feel uncomfortable for a while. She advised that this reminder had been incredibly powerful in keeping her on track.
So as you progress on your journey of being a Potentialiser® find yourself a significant way to remind yourself to not only practice your new habit but also to be persistent and prepared for discomfort. It gets easier and very comfortable quite quickly – I promise!