Using Better Questions – The Unexpected Outcome!

January 23, 2020
January 23, 2020 Lindsay Tighe

Using Better Questions – The Unexpected Outcome!

This week I received an email form a lady who had attended one of our training workshops in December. The headline of her email said “Asking Better Questions – it’s working!” which of course immediately got my attention and curiosity! I thought I’d shared the content of the email with you – protecting identities of course – so that you can share in this inspiring story.

“I’m writing to share an interesting experience and insight with you post the training I undertook with you in Dec 2012. I’ve been practising some of the techniques captured and discussed in the course in my everyday work and life, particularly on the ways to deal with challenging circumstances efficiently.

One evening in our neighbourhood a random teenager on the street started throwing stones into our house and smashing the fence along the side street. My husband was so furious and he ran into a frantic conversation with the stranger trying to stop him. The situation escalated and a fight was breaking out between the two as the stranger wasn’t giving in at all.

Spontaneously I stepped into the scene and very intuitively asked him, “What is happening in your life and why are you creating this chaos and breaking the fence?” Interestingly, his voice dropped, his whole body relaxed and he said, “I dunno. I had a bad day and everything seems wrong in my life”. So I had to take it further and asked, “What makes you think that breaking a fence will help you feel better?” He just dropped everything in his hands and after a few seconds said, “Ye.. Maybe I shouldn’t… I’m leaving”. He was never seen again in the local area. It is also noted, that in previous instances when the other neighbours tried to shoo him away by threatening him, it never worked.

Anyway, the bottom line is that through a simple and clear questioning tactic he was made to reflect on his actions and the detrimental consequences of them. I’m feeling increasingly confident that ‘better questions are the answer’ most of the time and I’ll continue using these techniques as part of my personal and professional development. I would like to thank you Lindsay for the inspirational training you provided.”

Of course I was quite humbled by this story and had real admiration for the lady who had shared it with me as she had intuitively used the techniques she had learned in our ‘Better Questions’ workshop in some really challenging and trying circumstances. I have to confess that I haven’t advocated for using Better Questions in such instances, but of course have been inspired at the great outcome achieved and will share this story going forward in my training.

It has led me to reflect upon what other circumstances or situations the use of a Better Question will bring great and unexpected benefits to – I certainly will ponder this going forward and if you have any similar updates please email them to me using the comments box below.